After seeing one of my now ex friends post multiple pictures about love and how much he loves his on off girlfriend of a few months and then ten minutes later saying how upset he was she didn't care. And blah blah blah. I thought I'd warn you all against the dangers of a destructive relationship.
Now I'm not googling this I'm simply writing from my own experience and what I have learnt I honestly do not wish this upon anyone. A destructive relationship doesn't necessarily have to be abusive but it is often boarder line. Here are a few signs you're in a destructive relationship.
1) Isolation.... I don't like your friends. Do you have to see him/her. You're family don't care they "input something bad they did." ... They will say anything and everything to make the other person look bad and like they are looking out for your best interest.
2) They insult you daily. But it's always a joke right. They pick at every little thing you do wrong. One minute they love you and the next minute they couldn't care less if you walked out the door.
3)They always turn the blame around on you. You're over reacting. I didn't mean it you just make me so angry when you act like that.
4) My personal favourite... you can't do better than me.
A destructive relationship will knock your confidence down bit by bit so you don't notice it until one day you rely on that person because you so scared to end up alone. STOP take a step back if any of the above is true to you please leave now before it's too late it'll only get harder. Please don't use the you don't understand my relationship we have something passionate.
I had that a belly full of fire a relationship full of fight I felt that because he hurt me so much it must be love we were meant to be together because I would do anything for him. This is not love. I wised up after four years of being slapped about and controlled I walked and never looked back.
Now after you have walked and honestly I hope you do I do not care if you have children we did too or you're married. You have to take care of yourself it's no environment to raise a child. Spend time by yourself raise your confidence do thing you love doing spend time with people who make you happy get in touch with that old friend they never let you see. Learn to be happy with yourself and to love yourself believe me this is needed.
Now if you find someone great but don't until your ready. I don't want to hear 'he/she makes me feel whole.' You are a couple that equals two that means you feel while by yourself you happy by yourself they are an added bonus to your life.
Love is not meant to hurt. Yes arguments happen but you should have more good days than bad. Love is someone building you up, excepting who you are and backing you in the life you want to live. Not knocking you down to be re modelled to the partner they want.
Now the quote I am about to use by Oscar Wilde I have tattooed on my thigh and I live and breath by it.
"To love oneself is the beginning of a life long romance."
I hope this helps anyone in a destructive relationship.
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=RtaD-BVqYMc
