destruction

Hello.

After seeing one of my now ex friends post multiple pictures about love and how much he loves his on off girlfriend of a few months and then ten minutes later saying how upset he was she didn't care. And blah blah blah. I thought I'd warn you all against the dangers of a destructive relationship.

Now I'm not googling this I'm simply writing from my own experience and what I have learnt I honestly do not wish this upon anyone. A destructive relationship doesn't necessarily have to be abusive but it is often boarder line. Here are a few signs you're in a destructive relationship.

1) Isolation.... I don't like your friends. Do you have to see him/her. You're family don't care they "input something bad they did." ... They will say anything and everything to make the other person look bad and like they are looking out for your best interest.

2) They insult you daily. But it's always a joke right.  They pick at every little thing you do wrong. One minute they love you and the next minute they couldn't care less if you walked out the door. 

3)They always turn the blame around on you. You're over reacting. I didn't mean it you just make me so angry when you act like that. 

4) My personal favourite... you can't do better than me.

A destructive relationship will knock your confidence down bit by bit so you don't notice it until one day you rely on that person because you so scared to end up alone. STOP take a step back if any of the above is true to you please leave now before it's too late it'll only get harder. Please don't use the you don't understand my relationship we have something passionate. 

I had that a belly full of fire a relationship full of fight I felt that because he hurt me so much it must be love we were meant to be together because I would do anything for him. This is not love. I wised up after four years of being slapped about and controlled I walked and never looked back. 

Now after you have walked and honestly I hope you do I do not care if you have children we did too or you're married. You have to take care of yourself it's no environment to raise a child. Spend time by yourself raise your confidence do thing you love doing spend time with people who make you happy get in touch with that old friend they never let you see. Learn to be happy with yourself and to love yourself believe me this is needed.

Now if you find someone great but don't until your ready. I don't want to hear 'he/she makes me feel whole.' You are a couple that equals two that means you feel while by yourself you happy by yourself they are an added bonus to your life.

Love is not meant to hurt. Yes arguments happen but you should have more good days than bad. Love is someone building you up, excepting who you are and backing you in the life you want to live. Not knocking you down to be re modelled to the partner they want.

Now the quote I am about to use by Oscar Wilde I have tattooed on my thigh and I live and breath by it.

"To love oneself is the beginning of a life long romance."

I hope this helps anyone in a destructive relationship.

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=RtaD-BVqYMc

hello everyone

It's been a while since my last blog I apologise life has just been extremely hectic

However I have just started a youtube channel amd I would appreciate it if you lovely people would check it out

You know you want to ; D

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Thank you lovely people.

Equality

Recently I've been thinking about equality and how much our world has missed out on due to the rich not allowing poorer people to have education. How much literature and art have we missed out on, how many scientific discoveries and break throughs if they'd just given everyone the right for education sooner? Simple i'm sure you all agree. Then why are we repeating the same mistakes by not giving everyone the right to a GOOD education. Why should the rich be allowed better education daddys moneys already going to give them a foot up in life and before you say well everyone gets an education NO from my experience public schools are useless yes some are good and i will say a few of my teachers i adored but most of the teachers hated their job, the school and the pupils. We should all have the same education. University shouldn't cost so much!!! Some of us don't want to be in debt just so we can be stuck in a 9-5 job. Maybe if we were given a proper education and a better chance to suceed in life there would be less people on benefits. Why try when we're only going to struggle and just about survive. So stop criminalising us poor uneducated fools and start giving us equal chances to become whatever we aspire to be. And maybe just maybe if you gave the working class the education needed to become mp's we might do an amazing job because you can't see how we feel and live from all the way up there in your fancy castles and shit. None of you have any clue what it's like to worry about where the money for dinners going to come from or if the electric will hold out till we next get paid. So do yourselves a favour live on the bare minimum we're entitled to and see how long you can last until you crack, I think every politician should have to walk in a poor mans shoes before he gets the job. How can you possibly help if you don't understand?

Over excitement

So my now boyfriend that's right boyfriend ; D, took me to the Harry Potter studio tour because i refused to let him get me a Christmas present jgxywjbshdkqvg major fan girl moments happened all day and apparently its cute that i kept giving him random facts. Being a geek pays off hear that girls put some clothes on and read a book. Brains over boobs!!! The most wonderful part was he didn't expect anything back we simply came home and went to sleep. Beautiful right most boys would of expected a weeks worth of blowjobs. Got me a gentlemen. He's not romantic though he occasionally says cute things but this suits me just fine i can't stand all the lovey dovey 'your so amazing hunny bunny' BLEURGHH. He's the perfect mix of sarcasm, sweetness, kinkyness (oh my) and gentlemenness (i apologise that's not actually a word.) I'm pretty sure i wished for a Mr. Grey and boy did the universe deliver!!! So surely there must be something wrong you ask? well... the awful bombshell has been dropped his ex lives at his (not in the same room) should this sway my opinion? I don't think so because -lets call her Brian- has got extremely below average looks... i sound like a bitch yes the only thing that could possibly worry me is the fact that she has shockingly amazing boobies (yes i sneaked a look at her profile pictures who wouldn't). But for now i trust my Mr. Grey and i look forward to unearthing his fifty shades ; D

The dating game

So i've recently started seeing a boy lets call him Joe. Well i've known Joe since i was 4 so that's what 16 years and recently we admitted we liked eachother in high school. I've never been on a date but off we went to the pub not that i apparently needed the alcohol since we got on like a house on fire however i did manage to spill my second drink, due to two small children i don't get out much so i'm a lightweight. He paid for it all and at the end of the night kissed me goodbye. Who says romance is dead? The second date he took me to see the hunger games once again paid for it all including the large popcorn i demanded i had to have (i could get used to this being treated like a princess business.) and at the end of the night we once again kissed and that was all. Now our third date was a bit strange I was meeting up with my best friend from school lets call her Jane who i've not seen for 3 years but apparently were both immature still as soon as we see eachother so poor old Joe had to put up with us relay every stupid thing we said or done in school which let me tell you is a very long list. After a while and a few too many vodka and cokes Jane wanted to go clubbing and since i at the age of 20 had never been before begged me to come along but Joe cant stand crowds or loud music but as any true gentlemen would he smiled calmly and said that i could do whatever i wanted so off the three of us trotted well stumbled (my heels were stupidly big) he sat in the sidelines patiently letting me dance with Jane and have fun. He followed us out whenever we went for a fag (he doesnt smoke) and at three in the morning paid for a cab back to his. Now three dates is the norm right? Well after a very drunken attempt we realised we were both too tired and went to sleep. Now i'm used to early mornings but i wasnt getting my boys back till 4 and i was gunna have a hangover from hell yet because Joe works he was up at 6 because that's normal to him. After a morning of cuddling up, watching friends (once again my choice) and lots of tea to nurse my hangover we managed to do the dirty... now let me tell you i'm far from innocent but the size of his you know what scared me and he sure knew how to use it. Some time after wards i realised i had lost my boots and no way in hell was i walking to town in my heels so off i pottered in bare feet with him laughing his beautiful head off besides me all the way to town where i quickly purchased some cheap shoes and kfc...mmmm chicken. We've now started seeing eachother alot and it just feels normal however i have one small little worry that i would like to share with you non biased people... i come from a family where money didn't stretch far.. my father was in and out of prison my mum got pregnant young and so did i. I've been addicted to drugs (clean for over a year) and i've been in an violent relationship. i've known poverty and the hard life. Joe however his family are well off, he's had a job since he left school, finished college, has never done drugs and doesn't even smoke. Can someone with a such a messed up past as mine really work with someone who's so clean cut and normal?

Life

So its been some time since my last blog due to teething babies but today i thought id do a big fuck you to all the people who look down at young mums. Yes i had my boys too young and their daddys a deadbeat druggy, but i grew up my boys are polite and well behaved just sometimes a little hyper. I dont go out clubbing every weekend infact im 20 and ive never been clubbing my youngest is one yet ive only just started having nights off. Yes im young but my boys are my number one priority atleast ill still be young enough to run around with my grandchildren. So before you judge my parenting skills make sure your kids are fucking perfect.

The Lady Rules.

So recently on facebook 'The Lad Rules' have cropped up... and in them they moan because we women apparently never say what we want, clearly we never nag saying "out the toilet seat down" or "Wipe your crumbs off the side once your done." So lads I've made a basic list of the need to know things about us ladies;

Friend Zone - This is actually 'ugly zone' but us girls are far too nice to say fuck off you're rough mate. Family Zone is the one for people we care about. So if you keep getting put in the "Friend Zoned" then you are ugly, if you expect to get a pretty girl then you have to look after your appearance too a relationship works both ways.

I'm Fine - Most of the time does mean I'm fine, unless there's something you've done wrong you should notice the subtle change in the way we say it if you've done something wrong and then figure out what you did and apologies for it or it will be held against you for anything up to a month depending on how bad it was sometimes a year if it's that bad.

Does my bum look big? - Now this is a grey area, some girls like having big bums others will take it as being called fat. Try telling us it's perfect or that we look sexy.

Getting ready - Don't moan! We took this long to get ready the night we met you so you should be happy we keep ourselves looking good for you. We don't moan about how long you take to have a shit (which guys is a over the top long time, and do you mind opening the window after? Cheers) so we'd like the same courtesy when getting our hair and makeup perfect FOR YOU!

The toilet seat - One of the biggest debates we need it down you need it up. Half of you pee all over the toilet seat (which is fucking disgusting since us girls have to SIT DOWN to pee.) and the rest of you leave it up, I'm sure out there there's a small minority of men who are properly house trained but for the rest of you, who cleans the toilet seat? That's right boys pick it up and put it back down or you'll be forced to scrub the toilet next time.

Your coat - Of course we steal your coat, it's warmer, we don't have to carry it and it smells like you and makes every other girl see we're yours. Got a problem with it? Bring two coats. Simple solution.

Kids - If we have kids with you and you work, when you get in from work you don't get 5 minutes to sit down and relax, we've spent all day running round, wiping other peoples bums, being screamed at by a bossy 2 year old, you've been at work socializing with other adults we've been having conversations about not being able to touch this and I don't like that and oh look a helicopter. So no five minutes give us conversation now or we're likely to go mad.

Being mad - It's probably best easier if you just buy us our favorite chocolate/sweets and give us a cuddle, asking us what's wrong will only annoy us more. If it's your fault we're mad you should already know whats wrong so as a just in case add a sorry with that galaxy bar, and if it's not you then if we've not already shouted our mouths off at you we don't want to. Give us a cuddle and we'll probably relax and tell you what the problem is.

Cooking - If you don't like it don't eat it and starve simple as, that's how I was raised.

Stupid actions - if your about to do something you KNOW we think will be stupid or even THINK we might think is stupid STOP! Have a calm moment to think about what your doing and remember for every action there is an equal reaction, are you willing to deal with the consequences go ahead, if not then I'd stop right now, oh and if your drunk I'd take an extra long time to think it over.

Single lads - If you want a girlfriend don't be a whiny little bitch, girls go for dickheads because they're sure of themselves. You say a confident girl is sexy it's the same for lads.

Shampoo - Never touch it! If your girls like me I wouldn't. It's chosen for us, especially for us and is quite expensive. If you want nice expensive shampoo go choose it yourself and LEAVE OURS ALONE!

My Mummy - That's right I still call her mummy and what? Don't bitch about her, she raised me, clothed me and kept me out of trouble. I can say all I want about her, but if you say one single thing I will hold it against you for the rest of your life!

Conversation - Be careful what you say to us we remember everything, we analyse everything. So if your going to have a serious conversation with us focus and think about what you say.

Football - We don't mind watching it in fact some of the players aren't bad to look at in their little shorts but if it's not your team you can miss it alright, and as for match of the day. FUCK OFF! you don't need a review of what you ONLY JUST WATCHED! It'd be like us watching Eastenders then watching a step by step update on what just happened. Not needed!

Lieing - Don't ever lie to us, once that trust is broke that's it, it's near on impossible to rebuild.
Flirting - Don't even try it if your happy with us you don't need other girls to make you feel good, your ours no sharing.
Your ex - Fair enough she might have been a big part in your life, but we don't need to hear about her and we NEVER want to be compared to her, she's your ex for a reason.

Popping to the shops - We say we don't want anything but in reality we do so go with something you know we like it's best to be safe.

Angry words - Don't do it, we will remember it for a very long times if you say something out of anger and it will play on our minds even once you've completely forgotten about it.

That's it for now. If I forgotten anything feel free to ask a question and give me your opinions and feedback. Cheers.

'Women are meant to be loved, not understood. - Oscar Wilde.-